Looking back on the earliest newborn days, there are so many things I understand now that I simply couldn’t have understood before becoming a mom. I knew life would change, that the days would be slower, and that so much of my time would revolve around this tiny new person. But I didn’t realize just how completely I would settle into that little world with her.
Those first weeks were quieter and more all-consuming than I expected. Our days were filled with nursing, contact naps, learning each other, and spending more time at home than I ever had before. There was so much I wondered about in the beginning, from whether we should have a routine to whether I was doing any of it “right.” Slowly, most of those questions seemed to matter less.
A few months in, I can already see those early days differently. These are the things I wish I could go back and tell myself at the very beginning.
This post may include affiliate links. Thank you for supporting Hurst House.
The Slowness of the Beginning
One of the things I loved most about those first weeks was how slow everything became. We hardly left our house, and for once, I never felt like we needed to. Mornings stretched a little longer, we slept in when we could, stayed in our pajamas well into the day, and spent hours cuddled together with nowhere else to be.
Our home became our whole little world. Family came to visit, meals were cooked for us, and the days seemed to revolve around nursing, sleeping, eating, and passing the baby between people who already loved her so much. It was the coziest, most tucked-away season of our lives.
I remember being very aware, even while we were in it, that I wanted to savor every minute. There was no rush to get back to normal or to start doing more. Looking back, I’m so glad we let those first weeks be exactly what they were: slow, simple, and completely centered around being together.
Finding Our Own Rhythm
In the beginning, I wondered when some sort of schedule would start to appear. Feeding and sleeping happened around the clock, naps were unpredictable, and our days looked different from one to the next. Eventually, I stopped looking for a schedule and started following her instead.
Little by little, our own rhythm began to form. I learned her cues, we started getting out for walks and little outings, and our evenings slowly became more predictable. Nothing was rigid, but our days began to have a natural flow that worked for us.
I wish I’d known from the beginning that there was no need to rush it. The rhythm came simply from spending our days together and learning what worked for our family.
I shared more about how our days began to take shape in: Life With a Newborn: Finding Our Rhythm
Learning to Trust Myself
In the beginning, I think I was trying so hard to do everything right. I wanted to make sure she was eating at the right times, sleeping at the right times, and that we introduced a bottle or pacifier at exactly the right moment. I tracked things, researched constantly, asked my mom friends endless questions, and second-guessed decisions that probably never needed that much thought in the first place.
There is so much information available to new moms, and at first I wanted all of it. I thought that if I could just learn enough, I would always know the right thing to do. But I quickly realized that constantly looking outside of myself for answers was pulling me further away from the kind of mother I wanted to be.
The more time I spent with my daughter, the more I understood that I already knew her in a way no app, schedule, or piece of advice ever could. I learned her cues, the little sounds she makes, what comforts her, when she is tired, when she needs to eat, and when she simply wants to be close to me. I stopped needing every decision to be validated by someone else.
I wish I had trusted that instinct from the very beginning. There will always be advice, opinions, and another answer to find if I go looking for one. But motherhood has felt so much more natural since I learned to quiet some of that outside noise and trust both of us. I know my daughter, she knows me, and I truly believe I was made to be her mom.
The Comfort of Simple Things
Before having a baby, it is so easy to think about all of the things you might need. The gear, the clothes, the toys, the products that promise to make those early months easier. And while there have absolutely been things we have loved and used constantly, I quickly realized how little we actually needed to make our days feel full.
So much of those first months was incredibly simple. Nursing in the rocker, contact naps on the couch, wearing her around the house, slow walks together, bath time in the evenings, and watching her quietly take in the world around her. Some of my favorite memories are the moments when we weren’t doing anything at all.
I think there is so much pressure to have everything figured out and everything purchased before a baby arrives, when really, less can be more. Babies don’t need every product or perfectly planned activity. In those earliest days especially, what our daughter seemed to want most was closeness, comfort, and us.
I wish I had known just how much joy there would be in that simplicity. Our little family tucked away at home, learning each other and letting the rest of the world feel a little less important for a while. We didn’t need to fill our days with much. Being together was enough.
How Quickly It All Changes
Everyone tells you how quickly it goes, but I don’t think I understood it until I watched it happen. Somehow the sleepy newborn curled against my chest is already smiling at us, watching everything around her, and showing us more of her little personality every day.
I wish I had known how quickly both the hard things and the beautiful things would change. Just when something starts to feel familiar, we seem to enter a new season.
It has made me want to notice the ordinary moments a little more. The weight of her sleeping on me, the newborn scrunch, the tiny clothes she outgrows overnight. I know I only get each little version of her for such a short time.
Looking Back
Looking back, I don’t think I needed to know everything before becoming a mom. So much of the beauty of those early days was figuring it out together and slowly becoming more confident in myself along the way.
If I could go back, I would tell myself to stop searching for the perfect way to do things and trust that we would find our own. To stay in our little bubble, soak up the slow days, and let being together be enough.
For more from this season, read my full reflection on the newborn stage: The Newborn Stage: Our First Three Months